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427 | Are We Running the Hardest, Easiest Business There Is?

Podcast Description

Nearly three decades into owning martial arts schools, Duane and Allie keep coming back to the same paradox: Are we running the hardest business or the easiest business?

In this raw and honest episode, they dive deep into both sides of this question. From the emotional weight of student quits and tragic incidents to the incredible fulfillment of watching shy kids become confident leaders, they explore why running a martial arts school can feel like both extremes—sometimes in the same day.

Whether you’re a brand-new school owner drowning in overwhelm or a seasoned veteran looking for validation that you’re not alone, this episode will resonate. Duane and Allie share their hardest moments (including a heartbreaking story about an instructor who committed murder), their easiest wins (like the former student who became a pediatrician and credited martial arts for his success), and the real shifts that happen when you stop waiting for it to get easier and start building the right systems, team, and culture.

This isn’t about complaining or bragging—it’s about being honest. Because the truth is, the same things that make this business incredibly hard are often the exact same things that make it incredibly rewarding.

Key Takeaways

1. The Paradox is Real: It’s Both the Hardest AND the Easiest Business

After nearly 30 years, Duane keeps coming back to this question: Are we running the hardest business or the easiest business? The honest answer? Both.

The same emotional investment that exhausts you is also what fulfills you. When you pour your heart into students and they quit, it’s depressing. When you pour your heart into families who genuinely care and they tell you how much you’ve impacted them, it’s what motivates you to keep going.

The reality: Running a martial arts school is unique because the things that make it incredibly hard are often the exact same things that make it incredibly rewarding.

2. The Hardest Moments Can Be Devastating

Both Duane and Allie have experienced some truly difficult moments:

Duane: An instructor left the studio one night, kidnapped his girlfriend, and by morning had killed his girlfriend, her friend, and then took his own life. Duane thought he would lose everything. He had to bring in a social worker to help students process the trauma.
Allie: A 45-year-old student passed away on the floor during a sword class from a “widow maker” heart attack. There was nothing anyone could have done—it was a hidden defect.
Allie: Had to kick out 12 students who formed a toxic “coup” in his school, constantly talking negatively and creating drama. When he finally removed them, the entire lobby erupted in applause—he had no idea how toxic they were to the good families.

Other hard moments include:

Quitting your day job and facing financial stress
Kicking out a student (or parent) for the first time
Dealing with problem parents who don’t align with your values
Asking yourself daily: “Why am I still doing this?”

3. The Easiest Moments Make It All Worth It

On the flip side, there are moments that remind you why you got into this business:

The perfect class where everyone is engaged, high energy, and everything just clicks
Student breakthroughs like the shy kid who finally speaks up or the struggling student who nails the technique
Parent testimonials that bring tears to your eyes
Former students who come back years later to say thank you

Allie’s story: A former student who quit at blue belt around age 12-13 walked back into the school as a pediatrician and said, “You changed my life. I used a lot of what you taught me to become a doctor, and I still use it every day.”

Allie’s other story: An autistic student named Caleb who used to run out of class, lay on his back, scream, and put his feet on the wall. After three years, his dad came to Allie at the Christmas party with tears in his eyes and said, “You have changed my son’s life. Everyone in his life has said it—his teachers, his aides. He is a different kid.”

These moments are why you keep going.

4. The Emotional Weight is Real—And It Never Leaves You

Unlike punching a clock at a regular job, when you own a martial arts school, the business is always with you. Even when you leave the building, the emotional weight stays.

You’re shaping lives, not just running a business
Every student’s success or failure feels personal (especially in the beginning)
The pressure of being a role model 24/7 is exhausting
Students’ personal struggles, family issues, bullying, confidence problems—you carry all of it

Duane’s insight: After nearly 30 years, it’s not as personal as it used to be. In the beginning, he wore everything on his sleeve. Now, he’s learned to manage the emotional toll better—but it’s still there.

Allie’s insight: It used to take him six months to get over a difficult situation. Now it takes two or three days. But even when he’s mentally over it, he’ll wake up in the middle of the night still thinking about it.

5. You Wear Every Single Hat (Especially in the Beginning)

When you start, you’re not just the instructor. You’re:

The janitor
The marketer
The accountant
The therapist
The salesperson
The social media expert
The curriculum developer
The event planner
The customer service rep

The challenge: If you don’t do it, it doesn’t get done. And even when you hire staff, you still carry the burden because no one seems to do it quite like you do.

Allie’s example: While he was away in Europe for 10 days, his staff sold a few signups and a few pink belts for the breast cancer fundraiser. The night he got back, he signed up 10 people for the Halloween party and sold 12-15 more pink belts. It’s frustrating because you know what you’re capable of, but training others to be like you is incredibly difficult.

6. Burnout is Real—And You Have to Learn to Shut Off

Physical exhaustion. Mental exhaustion. Emotional exhaustion. Burnout is real.

Duane’s story: He used to give everything on the floor—emotionally involved in every class. He’d come home at 9:30 or 10 p.m., and his wife would ask why he was so late. He needed 30 minutes to decompress before he could even function.

Allie’s story: On his days off, he wakes up, has coffee, watches TV, and then goes into his office and works for seven hours. “This is my day off,” he says—because he’s not physically at the school, but he’s still working on the school.

The lesson: You have to learn how to shut off. Allie’s trip to Europe forced him to disconnect (spotty internet, no TV in English), and it was the first time in years he truly relaxed. He realized how important it is to take real breaks.

7. Modern Business Challenges Add to the Overwhelm

When Duane and Allie first opened their schools, they didn’t have websites. They didn’t have social media. They didn’t have apps.

Now, you have to:

Post on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube
Update your website and app
Send push notifications and emails
Create content constantly
Manage online reviews
Run digital ads

Allie’s frustration: “It used to be we just taught and it was fine. Now we have to do all this other stuff on top of teaching.”

The old days: You made a bulletin board announcement, handed out a flyer, and everyone came to your event. Now, you have to sell it across six different platforms, and people still don’t show up.

8. Why This is Actually the EASIEST Business

Despite all the challenges, there are real reasons why running a martial arts school can be easier than other businesses:

Parents are desperate for what you offer:

They want discipline, respect, focus, and confidence for their kids
Martial arts already has built-in credibility and cultural appeal
You don’t have to convince people martial arts is valuable—they already believe it

Low overhead to start:

Minimal inventory (no perishable goods, no seasonal issues)
You don’t need expensive equipment in the beginning
You can start in a small space or even teach in a park

Recurring revenue model:

Membership-based income provides stability and predictability
Long-term relationships with students (some stay for years)
Multiple streams of income: classes, testing fees, camps, events, retail, private lessons

Family enrollment:

Once one child enrolls, you often get siblings and even parents joining
Multi-family households create deeper loyalty and higher lifetime value

Fulfillment factor:

You’re doing work that genuinely matters and changes lives
You get immediate feedback and gratification (when you ask for it)
Former students come back years later to thank you

Community and loyalty:

You’re building a tribe, not just a customer base
Strong school culture does the selling for you
Referrals come naturally when families are bought in

Lifestyle flexibility:

You control your schedule (mornings off, evenings teaching)
No corporate boss
You can design your business to fit your lifestyle
You can close for holidays and take time off when you need it

Systems and scalability:

You can standardize your curriculum and teach others to teach it
Once you have the right team, you can work ON your business instead of IN it
You can scale to multiple locations (if you do it right)

9. The Real Shifts That Change Everything

Most school owners are waiting for it to get easier. They think, “Once I hit 100 students…” or “Once I hire this person…” or “Once I have these systems…”

But that’s not how it works. It doesn’t just get easier. It shifts.

Here are the real shifts that change the game:

Shift #1: Get the Right Systems in Place

Stop reinventing the wheel every day
Document processes for enrollment, billing, curriculum, parent communication
Let automation handle repetitive tasks so you can work on the business

Shift #2: Build a Strong Team

You can’t be the only person teaching every class, doing every sale, generating every lead
When you have staff who share your vision, delegation becomes possible
Trust your team to do what you ask—and do it well

Shift #3: Clarify Your Vision and Ideal Student

Stop trying to be everything to everyone
Know exactly who you serve best
Be okay with saying no to families who aren’t the right fit
Your marketing should attract the right families, not just chase every possible enrollment

Shift #4: Let Go of Perfection

Some students are going to quit, and it has nothing to do with you
Stop taking every cancellation personally
Realize that “good enough” is better than “perfect and exhausted”

Shift #5: Give Yourself Permission to Rest

Don’t feel guilty about taking days off
Close for holidays (yes, even Christmas Eve)
Your students and staff will respect you more when you model healthy boundaries

Shift #6: Find Your Community of Fellow School Owners

Stop feeling alone in the struggle
Share your defeats and victories without judgment
Learn from others who “get it”

10. Focus on What You Can Control

Brian Tracy’s wisdom (from Allie’s audiobook): What we focus on tends to become more evident in our life. If you constantly say, “I’m so fat, I’m so weak, life is terrible,” that becomes your reality. But if you say, “I love myself, I’m confident, my school is going to grow,” and you work toward that, it becomes true.

The lesson: Don’t let negativity penetrate your brain. Focus on the positive. Remind yourself why you started this business in the first place.

Allie’s tip: Years ago, he kept a folder on his desk with all the positive letters, testimonials, and thank-you cards. When he got into a negative funk, he’d open that folder and read through it. Now, he uses Spark’s class review feature to get immediate feedback and gratification.

11. You’re Not Alone

If you’re listening to this and you’ve felt both extremes—the hardest and the easiest—you’re not crazy. You’re not alone. Nothing is wrong with you.

It’s just the nature of the business.

Every school owner has experienced this—not just once, but multiple times. The ups and downs are part of being alive. As Allie’s teacher from Japan used to say:

“You have to have ups and downs to know that you’re alive. When you flatline, that’s when your heart stops. That’s when businesses go out of business. That’s when people quit.”

The ups and downs mean you’re still in the game. You’re still fighting. You’re still making a difference.

Action Steps for School Owners

1. Acknowledge Both Sides of the Paradox

Stop waiting for it to get easier. Accept that this business will always have hard moments AND rewarding moments—sometimes in the same day. The sooner you accept this, the less you’ll be thrown off when challenges arise.

2. Create a “Wins Folder” or Gratitude System

Follow Allie’s example: Keep a folder (physical or digital) with positive testimonials, thank-you cards, and success stories. When you’re in a negative funk, pull it out and remind yourself why you do this work.

Or use Spark’s class review feature to collect immediate feedback and gratification from students and parents.

3. Document Your Systems This Week

Pick ONE area of your business (enrollment, billing, curriculum, parent communication) and document the process step-by-step. This is the first step toward getting out of the “technician trap” and working ON your business instead of IN it.

4. Evaluate Your Team

Do you have staff who share your vision? If not, it’s time to have conversations about expectations and culture. If you don’t have staff yet, start thinking about what roles you need to fill first.

Ask yourself: What tasks am I doing that someone else could do? Start delegating those tasks.

5. Clarify Your Ideal Student and Family

Write down the characteristics of your ideal student and family. What values do they have? What are they looking for? What kind of commitment level do they have?

Then, review your marketing. Does it attract those people? Or are you just chasing every possible enrollment?

Be willing to say no to families who aren’t the right fit. It’s better to have 100 families who are all-in than 200 families who treat you like a transaction.

6. Stop Taking Cancellations Personally

This week, when a student quits or a family cancels, remind yourself: “Some students are going to quit, and it has nothing to do with me.”

Let it go faster. Duane and Allie both said it used to take them months to get over a cancellation. Now it takes days. Practice letting go.

7. Schedule Real Time Off

Look at your calendar and block out at least one full day in the next month where you do NOT work on the school. No emails. No admin work. No social media posts.

Give yourself permission to rest. Model healthy boundaries for your staff and students.

8. Join or Create a Community of School Owners

If you’re not already in the School Owner Talk Facebook group, join it. Share your struggles. Ask for advice. Celebrate your wins.

Stop feeling alone in this. There are thousands of school owners around the world who “get it.”

9. Focus on the Positive (Daily Affirmations)

Following Brian Tracy’s advice, start each day with positive affirmations:

“I love what I do.”
“I am making a difference in my students’ lives.”
“My school is growing.”
“I am confident and capable.”

What you focus on becomes your reality. Choose to focus on the positive.

10. Remind Yourself Why You Started

Take 10 minutes this week to write down (or record) why you started your martial arts school in the first place. What was your vision? What impact did you want to make?

Keep that reminder somewhere visible. When you’re in the thick of the hard moments, come back to your “why.”

Additional Resources Mentioned

Brian Tracy’s Book: Million Dollar Habits

Allie is currently listening to this audiobook and shared a key insight: What we focus on tends to become more evident in our life. If you focus on negativity, that’s what you’ll see. If you focus on growth, confidence, and success, that’s what you’ll create.

Michael Gerber’s Book: The E-Myth

Allie referenced “the technician trap” from this book—the idea that most business owners get stuck working IN their business instead of ON it. The key is to create systems that are repeatable and can be done by anyone without error.

Spark (School Management Software)

Both Duane and Allie use Spark for their schools. Features mentioned in this episode include:

Class Review and Survey System: Allows students and parents to leave testimonials and feedback after class. Allie uses this to get immediate gratification and remind himself of the positive impact he’s making.
Perfect Attendance Tracking: Allie mentioned his “Perfect Attendance Reward System” and how Spark can pull reports showing which students have perfect attendance each month.
Push Notifications and Communication: One of the many channels school owners use to communicate with families (alongside email, text, social media, and app updates).
App Integration: Duane mentioned that his upcoming podcast for TriStar families will be available directly on their school app through Spark, making it easy for families to access content.

Spark helps automate many of the repetitive administrative tasks, allowing school owners to focus more on teaching and building relationships with students and families.